Alvin

I was on the playground with some other kids playing kung fu. I had elected myself the resident expert on kung fu, after all I had seen quite a few Kung Fu movies. I'd create a basic plotline, one that allowed for lots of fighting and then we'd make the dramatic kung-fu noises while we acted out fight scene after fight scene.

A boy named Alvin, who was in second grade, a year behind me, came to join the fun. I was having a great kung fu bout with Alvin when he hit me, hard in the head.

"Hey, watch it. You actually hit..." and before I could finish my scolding the little shit hit me again. I didn't even know this kid, but if you had a reputation as a fighter it wasn't uncommon for other kids to want to fight you just for the status of it.

I started swinging back. Alvin was fairly handy with his fists and provided more of a challenge than I was used to. With three older brothers constantly pounding on you, you learn to handle your fists earlier than most. I traded punches with this smaller, but speedy kid. Neither of us could really be declared the winner when a teacher rushed in and broke things up. I was back in the principal's office again. Alvin and I each told our side, and Mr. Wilcox made us each agree to be done with this conflict. I actually meant it when I said I would drop it.

Walking home that day with my friend Randy I found this was not a promise to be kept. Randy noticed Alvin walking a few blocks behind us.

"You following us?" Randy shouted.

"So what if I am." came the reply.

"Yeah, well Keith might have to kick your ass again."

At this point I felt more like kicking Randy's ass. "Turn around and shut up." I told him. A minute later Alvin landed on my back.

I was caught off guard but I responded quickly grabbing his ankles and dropping backwards. Alvin's head smacked against the concrete. I'm guessing he was unconcious before I turned around and started punching him in the nose. I have no idea how many times I hit him, nor do I remember stopping.

The friends I had before I'd started hitting him let me walk home alone after. I was halfway there when I felt someone land on my back again, and this time I was too freaked out to respond with the skill I'd shown earlier. I tried punching and spinning to get free as I was hit in the face repeatedly. My hair was being pulled and I was freaking out.

I finally got the kid off of me when a car pulled up. An adult; Surely this meant salvation. I ran to the car only to find Alvin's mom behind the wheel, her boy a bloody mess in the back seat. "Look what you did to my son." she screeched. "I hope Jamie kicks your ass." and with that she took off.

Jamie? I turned around and sure enough, Jamie, the scrawny, Ricky Schroeder looking kid whose ass I'd been kicking for years was the monster who'd been on my back. I balled up my fists and Jamie took off.

I ran the rest of the way home and was relieved when I finally found myself locking the dead bolt on our front door and peeking through the peep hole to see what mob was following me.

My older brother Edward got home and told me I was in big trouble. Apparently Alvin was quite popular. Most of the school now threatened revenge. It would seem that getting beaten savagely enough can make you popular in a hurry. My mom got home and I told her the whole story, including the fact that the entire planet was now looking to kill me. I hated myself for my inabillity to stay out of fights. I was sure something was wrong with me. My mom didn't disagree but promised to help me fix things.

Mr. Wilcox called and informed my mom that I was to be expelled. Not suspended but expelled. The word was well known to students, but not even the sixth graders had ever witnessed it happening in their lifetime. To be kicked out of school, permanently; what would become of me. Surely I'd blown it. My life was all but over.

Mr. Wilcox had not bothered to get my version of the events. I was a known fighter and he decided I had finally gone too far. My mom was a fighter of a different sort She got on the phone, calling the parents of every kid who may have witnessed the fight. She insisted that Mr. Wilcox talk to each and every kid on her list. Mr. Wilcox agreed to do so. I was at the school with my mom when I ran into a heavy set red headed girl named Wendy.

"I'm telling Mr. Wilcox that you started it." she informed me.

"I didn't start it. He jumped on my back."

"Alvin's a sweetheart and you're a jerk."

Wendy was picked on a lot for her weight and general geekiness and this was her chance to be on the winning team. As young as I was I remember feeling sad for her, realizing what a pathetic attempt she was making to be cool. I hoped Mr. Wilcox got a more accurate report from the other kids.

He did. I was allowed to continue attending Home Garden's Elementary School, but I would spend my recesses and lunch break sitting in the office. I got a book on magic and spent these lonely hours trying to entertain the secretary with Magic tricks. She was not amused and complained about the mess I made as I constructed my props out of construction paper and scotch tape. She asked that I not be allowed to do my magic tricks anymore. Tough audience, but I didn't give up.

My mom kept her promise to help me figure out what the hell was wrong with me. I started seeing a shrink. I was prescribed ritalin, which I refused to take, and I was tested for MGM or Mentally Gifted Minors program. I scored high on the IQ test and I was accepted in. I would be bussed to a new school as Home Gardens did not have an MGM program. I'd get a new start, and more importantly, I'd get to have recess again.